Things I’ll Never Say Out Loud

              There are often situations and times, when I forget to hug you, kiss and tell you that I love you. Sometimes when you call, I won’t have the mood to talk to you because I am busy using my laptop. Sometimes I forget to comfort you if you are down and most of all; I always forget to thank you for everything you do and every sacrifices you made for us. In this essay I will pour all my memories with you. Papa, I will use this opportunity to tell you things that I guess I will never have the guts to tell you every day.


               I’m Sorry. The first thing out of three that I want to tell you. I am sorry for being such a pain, especially when I force you to buy me things that I want. Do you remember when I was seven I cried my eyes out just to convince you to buy me a Barbie doll? That memory still lingers in my mind clearly, that day I saw a Barbie that wears a beautiful purple gown, it caught my eyes because it was from the Barbie movie that I watched the night before. I asked mama if she’ll buy that for me and I was scolded. Like I said I was hard headed back then, so I dragged you near the Barbie doll forced you to buy that for me. I am sorry for being insensitive. Sometimes I call you names that is never to your liking I also do pranks on you because I really enjoy every second of it. I am sorry if I always act like a spoiled brat. Remember when I told you that I will never want a younger sibling? The real reason behind that is that I don’t want to be left behind and I wanted yours and mama’s attention focused on me and ate.


               Thank you. I do not know how to say this papa but I want to thank you for everything. Thank you for being a fan. When I was younger you always encourage me to sing. You always buy karaoke dvds’ just for me, you always push me to the level that I will be able to sing in front of many people. Thank you for being our clown. When I was down, you always make me smile by doing things that you know will crack my shell. Thank you for telling me stories. I remember when I was seven you told me a story about canned sardines, I was really captured by that time, I believed every part and was amazed in every scene of it. Thank you for your understanding. Every time that I am in a bad mood you will always do things that will brighten me up. Remember the day when I purposely broke my sandals? Every time it will flash in my mind I can’t help but to laugh at my spoiled brat attitude.


                   I love you. You have always been in my life, from the day I first opened my eyes to the present moment. You are a teacher, a guide, and a source of strength and support. You, whom I look up to with loving trust and pride. With a willing hand to lend, you are a helper, an adviser and my partner in crime. You showed me the stars and taught me how to reach them. You mean the world to me; you are my one and only father. Even if you are far from me, I will always stay by your side. I know it is a bit cheesy, but still papa, I will always be there for you like you have been for me. I want you to feel special by writing instead of saying things that I’ll never say at least out loud.

High School Life and Overcoming Challenges

                High school life. One of the very important parts of a person’s life. The best part, actually. During this time you will experience physical development, emotions, friendship, relationships and of course, tons of knowledge. This time is precious because it only happens once in a lifetime. It marks your whole life. Just like the moon, high school life also, has its dark facade. This side contains the challenges students will have to conquer, difficulties they have to overcome and the hardest to deal with is coping with the new environment especially classmates.

           

            Being a high school student I also conquered a lot of difficulties not just coping with my environment but doubting myself if I can do something or prove something. Our first day of school started last June 04, 2012. That day will always be memorable for me because of the unexplainable nervousness that is lingering inside me. I kept on thinking about the challenges that I will be encountering on the new path that I am taking, I am having doubts if I can surpass everything that will come my way. I am afraid of failing that is why I am afraid to try things that I am having doubts with. I am now in third year level of high school. It has been two years since I attended high school, but in that two years time I didn’t change much and I am still afraid and hides in my own shell.

           

            This year, I wanted to be someone that is vulnerable in surpassing challenges. This year I wanted to be someone that has enough trust in herself and someone who has less doubts. I wanted to change, but changes were never easy. I will have to exert a lot of willpower to overcome my fears. I have to gather a lot of determination to earn trust and assurance for myself.

           

            I really have to work hard on this year. I wanted to see the progress in myself when the school year ends. One thing is really on my mind, a challenge is like a landslide and you have to move it out of the road if you want to proceed further and if not then you are stuck and will never reach your goal. I believe that if I will always keep that in mind I will be able to face challenges and one thing’s for sure I will be able to handle a third year student’s life!

Both of us BoB ft. Taylor Swift

[Taylor Swift - Chorus]
I wish I was strong enough to lift not one but both us
Someday I will be strong enough to lift not one but both of us

[B.o.B]
Ever thought about losing it?
When your money is all gone and you lose your whip
You might lose your grip
When the landlord tell you that you're due for rent
And the grass so green on the other side
Make a nigga wanna run straight through the fence
Open up the fridge about 20 times
But still can't find no food in it
That's foolishness
And sometimes I wonder
All we care so much about the way we look
And the way we talk, and the way we act
And the clothes we bought, how much that cost?
Does it even really matter?
Cuz if life is an uphill battle,
We all try to climb on the same old ladder
In the same boat with the same old paddle
Why so shallow, I'm just asking
What's the pattern to the madness?
Everybody in a #1 draft pick
Most of us aint Hollywood actors
But if it's all for one, and one for all
Then maybe one day we all can ball
Do it one time for the underdogs
Sincerely yours, from one of y'all

[Taylor Swift - Chorus]
I wish I was strong enough to lift not one but both us
Someday I will be strong enough to lift not one but both of us

[B.o.B]
I can feel your pain,
I can feel your struggle
You just want to live
But everything so low,
That you can drown in the puddle
That's why I gotta hold us up
Yeah hold us up
For all the times no one ever spoke for us
So every single time that they play this song
You can say that, "that's what Bobby Ray wrote for us"
When his eyes get too high
And the sea up underneath get so deep
And you feel like you're just another person
Getting lost in the crowd
Way up high in the nosebleeds (Uh)
Because we've both been there
Yeah both of us
But we still stand tall
With our shoulders up
And even though we always against the odds
These are the things that have molded us
And if life hadn't chosen us
Sometimes I wonder
Where I would have wound up
Cuz if it was up to me
I would make a new blueprint
Then build it from the ground up
Hey, but if its all for one
And One for all
Then maybe one day
We all could ball
Do it one time for the underdogs
From Bobby Ray to all of y'all

[Taylor Swift - Chorus]
I wish I was strong enough to lift not one but both us
Someday I will be strong enough to lift not one but both of us

For all of my friends out there....